little_seahorse


Little Seahorse

last night i had the strangest dream...i sailed away to china/


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Four years is a bloody long time
little_seahorse
I've just been re-reading some really old lj posts I made.

Christ, things were a rollercoaster back then.

One week, WHEE OMG THINGS ARE FAB! I MADE A COLLAGE OF BRYAN FERRY! ISN'T LIFE GREAT??!!!
 Next week, I AM SO FUCKING LONELY/MISERABLE/UNSURE OF MYSELF OMG LIFE SUCKS SO HARD...I NEED A HUG.

I'm no less receptive to Hugs: Anytime, Anywhere, but life has certainly mellowed. Was very amusing to read a post from '07 recalling the Bizarrest Dream i've ever had, and to read about getting into Fleetwood Mac and Bryan Ferry because of season 1 of The Mighty Boosh. Then, I wished for cowboy boots and a poncho. I have them now *smug*

Gosh, i've moved around a bit in the last four years. I was in Elm street when I started my journal, and ran away from home to live with my then best friend for nine weeks. I still remember the events leading up to that, and the relief of going home with a better relationship with my Mum, and greater self-knowledge.

Since then, another house with Mum and sis, painting another bungalow (mint green) then sis moved to Bendigo, and the house got too big. Chris helped me properly move house for the first time, and I went all the way to Hawthorn. In Hawthorn, things were ace but very expensive. I smoked my first (2nd, 3rd...) spliffs and watched blu-ray movies when I wasn't working and falling in love.

Quit my first full time job, had to move back home with Mum, which was somewhere else altogether by then.
Things calmed down, and this time I started studying Sociology at Swinburne, moved to Brunswick with a fabulous chick who shared a mutual friend and love for books. I met a girl at uni, and made love with a woman for the first time.

I got heart broken and ended my first proper relationship. Was soothed with Doctor Who, and tea and silly doodles of waiter's bums stuck to my bedroom door with blu-tac.
Depression settled again, and shit got awful for a while. Forced back home, defeated and seriously hating myself.

Seven months since then, the depression's nowhere near as bad. I got over the fear that I'd lost all my friends, and was isolated again. I remembered the precious people in my life, and started enjoying it again.

I started writing again! A very recent development. It's not the mopey heart-broken poetry I was writing four years ago, it's delicious saucy Snape/Lupin slash. Which is Always Good Fun.

Plus! NEW FANDOM TO WALLOW IN AND GENERALLY ROLL AROUND IN.
I started watching Merlin on Sunday nights a few weeks ago and thought, hmmm...those two are rather dishy...I wonder....TO THE LIVEJOURNAL COMMS!

'Lo a Merlin/Arthur shipper was born. I broke one of my own rules shortly after reading a buttload of A/M fic, which was 'searching for Real-Person Fic. It usually squicks me to no end, I can't stand reading Noel/Julian fic.

But by jove, Colin Morgan and Bradley James (I just typed Colin James...*hem* Mr and Mrs ...) are so bloody gorgeous and adorable, and christ on a hot buttered crumpet... I couldn't resist. So there, that squick has been battered into submission by The Almighty Power of Porn.

There's a lot of talent in the Merlin Fandom. So many fests going on too! When I first started trawling for A/M fic, I was disappointed at the quality, but patience and seeking out the right comms and writers soon deals with that. Some incredible writing going on.

Am nearly finished writing my Snupin BLU fic, which is super exciting. I was worried that I couldn't make it to the 5,000 word minimum, but inspiration struck and propelled it to it's current length of 11,000. Whoo!

Snupin Drabble night was a ball too, wrote five (now posted at Lupin/Snape comm) and read others shared and generally had a Good Time.

It's bloody cold in Melbourne right now, f-list. But i'm off into the outside land shortly to catch a train. Meeting Mum at work for her lunch break, off for a parma at the pub. YUM.

Far out, the things that seemed endless and horrid and traumatic a few years ago, and even last year, they just fade and it amazes me. I'm so glad to be back to bubbly-me. It's nice to smile and laugh and squee again.

Tell me how You are?

Much love,
xx
Hannah

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